Lets Have Fun
by randomplotbunny
Summary: A chance meeting in a cafe and an annoying detective laying on a sofa. This could be the start of something amazing. Johniarty all the way!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Not mine! The show would be X-rated if it was.**

"Get out."

"What?" He had not just been told to leave his own home.

"You think too loud, it's unproductive to higher minds. Get out."

"What? What the hell, Sherlock? Unproductive? I at least do things around here Mister laze-about-for-days-at-a-time."

"Irrelevant. Your thoughts are annoying. Get out."

"Fine. But don't expect tea later."

With that John grabbed his jacket and left.

He'd walk awhile, cool his head and calm his temper.

That git!

Throwing him out of his own house!

Well, flat.

Okay, flat share.

But the point was, he had just been tossed out for thinking.

Thinking!

Who even does that?

Sherlock Bloody Holmes, that's who!

His internal rant finally winding down, John looked about himself.

Where the hell was he?

Not seeing any familiar landmarks he headed towards a small café across the street.

Looking over the menu, he settled on a club on rye, chips and a bottle of water; tray in hand, John looked for a place to sit.

Spotting a familiar profile the ex-soldier nearly dropped his food and bolted.

What the hell was Jim Moriarty doing here?!

Eating it looks like, chimed in the one part of his brain not swimming in adrenaline.

Deciding he was probably not in any immediate danger, John went back to his search for a table.

No empty tables. Not a one.

A dangerous thought came to the doctor; looking over the master criminal, who was still oblivious to his presence for some reason, John took a chance and walked over.

Sitting in the free seat across from the most dangerous man you could ever hope not to meet, John relished the look of startled surprise that flashed across the other mans' face.

"Johnny boy! What are you doing here?"

"Same as you." He took a deliberate bite of his sandwich.

"Oh? And what am I doing?"

"Eating." John raised an eyebrow at the man, if he wanted to play word games he would find a willing partner in the smaller man.

"And Sherlock says you're stupid." The patronizing tone was not lost on John, he had had too many conversations with Mycroft for it to hit any sore spots though.

Not getting a response he could use, Moriarty decided to go for the direct approach; if only to throw the other man off-balance.

"Why are you here, Dr. Watson?"

Deciding he didn't care enough to lie, it being a useless gesture anyway given who he was talking to, John told the plain and simple truth.

"I've been thrown out of my flat for thinking too loud.

"Took an angry walk and got lost." He shrugged.

"Now I'm sitting with my flatmates second worst enemy, eating a rather good lunch."

"Second worst enemy?" The criminal sounded genuinely hurt by this.

John just chuckled.

"Well, Mycroft was his first; and then you came along. That does technically make you his second."

Biting into a chip, John watched for a reaction to his teasing. This was the most fun he'd had since leaving the army.

Moriarty just stared a moment before bursting into laughter, startling everyone in the café; except for John who had seen it coming.

"Johnny boy, you are something else, you know that?

"You sit at my table, knowing I could have you killed at any moment, and proceed to tease me!

"Where have you been keeping this sense of humor?"

"I was depressed when I was first discharged. And then being around the Holmes', it doesn't encourage one to crack jokes.

"Plus there are not many people who find an old soldier's sense of humor appropriate, I took the chance that you would be one of them."

"And if I hadn't been?"

"Then I would probably be dead right now or twisted up in some nefarious scheme."

"You make me sound so merciless!" But the gleam in his eye said he was pleased.

"Well, terror is part of your charm." John smirked.

"O Johnny! Be careful now, or I might just think you're flirting with Daddy."

"And if I am?"

"Ah, but you've been very adamant about the whole 'not gay' thing, Doctor."

"So?"

"So. Straight men make poor lovers. You're not interested in what Daddy has to offer." He actually pouted.

"Whoever said I was straight?"

A piercing set of eyes racked over him, reevaluating and coming up with an answer that they liked.

"You are truly wasted at Baker street."

"Hmm. Maybe I'm just waiting for a better offer?"

"Do you want to work for me John?"

"I was thinking more about dinner."

"We can do a little of both, and punish Sherly for kicking you out in the first place."

John leaned forward, making his next words deep, sensuous and intimate.

"What did you have in mind Jim?"

He was pleased to note the obvious signs of arousal on the other man.

John 'Three Continents' Watson, you still have it.

"O Johnny, the fun we can have."

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

Sherlock was just coming out of his mind palace when John returned home.

"John, tea."

Without a word, the doctor headed to the kitchen.

Once the kettle blew and the tea was prepared, John brought two cups into the sitting room, giving one to the stationary figure adorning the sofa.

Looking over the other man, Sherlock couldn't put his finger on just what was off.

"You went walking."

"Very good Sherlock, got it in one." John picked up the paper, not trying to hide anything more than his smirk.

"You got lost and tried a café you've never been to before. You ordered a club on rye, chips and had a bottle of water."

"Brilliant. I'm not going to ask how you know all that, I wouldn't understand anyway."

"Quite." Taking no notice of the doctors' suddenly hurt expression, he continued.

"You chatted up someone you found interesting. Ah, that would be it."

"What?"

"You didn't get her number but you did make plans. For tomorrow, I would think. You wouldn't want this one to get away, you found her quite pleasant company."

I'll have to try harder with this one, he thought to himself.

"So what is she like?"

"First off, you got that wrong. Secondly, I don't want to discuss my dates with you. You tend to drive them away without additional help."

"What did I get wrong?" He could find out all he wanted to about his new competition later, knowing what he got wrong was more important.

"I didn't chat her up, I chatted him up. And I also got a job." Noting the surprise on Sherlock's face, John let his smirk grow.

"Him? Your dating a man?" That could have been me! Why wasn't it me?!

"Yes. And working for him too." Getting up he took his empty cup and Sherlocks' still full one. As he passed over to the kitchen he gave one more parting shot.

"And I get a bonus if I snag him a pair of your blue silk boxers."

It was exactly twenty-eight seconds before the reaction came.

"What?"

"My date and new boss is someone interested in your well-being.

"Not Mycroft, Greg would kill me if I tried, even if I was interested in the pompous git.

"Nor Irene, though finding out she was still alive a second time was a bit of a shock."

Watching the cool look sweeping over him, John gave a bright smile.

"The only reason I didn't get his number was because he already has mine. And I'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow night, so good guess you."

"What?!" Thirty-two seconds this time.

Jim was right. This was a lot of fun.

_AN: This will be a bit of a slow build, but I plan to have lots of smut. So if you're not into that you have already been warned._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: If I say they're mine, will that make it true? No? Damn.**

John left the flat and got himself a cab.

Giving the address of the hotel he would be meeting Jim at, the ex-soldier let himself relax.

Today had been something else, he thought.

He had woken up duck taped to the bed, for starters.

Then he had to throw out all his tea because it'd been tampered with- maybe sedatives, maybe something more; he wasn't willing to risk it.

His lazy sod of a flatmate looked like he hadn't even moved from his sulk of the night before.

John guessed that finding out your best friend had taken a job for your worst enemy, and was also going to date him, would put anyone in a strop.

But sicing Mycroft on him? That had been low.

He'd had to listen to the British Government drone on and on about security issues, procedures and processes, and why he should never have spoken to the psycho let alone excepted a job proposal.

He was then given a choice: quit working for Jim Moriarty, right that minute, or move out of Baker street.

That finally lit a fire under Sherlock, who had been unusually quiet throughout the whole one-sided ordeal up to that point.

Telling Mycroft in no uncertain terms that John would not be moving, no matter who he worked for, he then kicked his elder brother out of the flat.

After that display of friendship, Sherlock then decided it would be a good idea to forbid John from seeing his new boss on anything other than business related matters.

Not bothering to give a response, John left to get ready for 'business drinks' with his new boss.

"Those are date clothes, John. I said no dating my arch nemesis!"

"You let Greg date Mycroft, I don't see the difference.

"Besides, this is James Moriarty, I need to look good."

Sherlock had pouted at not being able to refute that logic.

"Here." John caught the wad of cloth tossed at his head.

"There clean and I expect half your bonus."

Smoothing out and then neatly folding the blue silk he now held, John smirked and left.

Now here he was, about to go on his first 'business meeting' with Jim Moriarty; while being tailed by his flatmate.

Just because he didn't see the man didn't mean he wasn't there, John knew him well enough by now to know that.

Besides, Mycroft was probably sending him turn by turn directions.

Paying the cabby, John headed inside and up to the bar; ordering a pint.

An hour later he was staring at the dregs of his beer and feeling dejected; there was a quiet thump in the seat next to him.

"I do believe you've been stood up." Glancing at the tall brunette, John turned back to his ale.

"You can't be 'stood up' on a business meeting Sherlock, you just need to reschedule."

Getting no comment on this, he drained the rest of his glass and threw a few bills on the counter.

"Let me drain the lizard and then we can go."

"Drain the lizard? Really, John."

Giving a glare to the annoying git, the doctor made his way towards the bathrooms; and out the disabled emergency exit and into the idling car waiting there.

"Right on time Johnny." as they pulled into traffic, "So how is trix?"

"Probably still at the bar, but not for long I'd wager. He can be rather persistent."

Just as they pulled onto a wide road, quite a ways away from the hotel, Johns' phone went off; twice.

**Very good Dr. Watson. I shall need to rethink my security measures where you are involved. MH**

**I want a full report when you return. Nice job by the way. SH**

"You're developing a nice little cache of obsessive geniuses, aren't you." Said Jim who was unashamedly looking over Johns' shoulder at his phone.

"Whatever will you do with us all?" It was said as a joke, but John decided to answer anyway.

"I'll ignore Mycroft, that's the best way to irritate him. As for Sherlock... I think I'll give him a blow-by-blow account of tonight. His reaction should be interesting to say the least."

"And my good self? What plans do you have for little old me?"

With a predatory grin, John leaned over to whisper in Jim's' ear.

"I did say a 'blow-by-blow' report didn't I?"

"Oooo, Johnny! You're awfully forward, aren't you?" He didn't make it sound like a bad thing.

"I can be." He slid from his seat and knelt between Westwood covered knees.

"But only for those who like it. You do like it, don't you Jimmy?" He ran his hands up cloth coated thighs.

"I think little Jimmy likes it." As he nuzzled the criminals inner thigh, hot breath ghosting over an obvious bulge.

"John..."

Just then the car came to a stop outside the same hotel John had been in earlier.

"Looks like we're here! Come-on Jim, time to buy me dinner."

John was off the floor and out the door before the consultant knew what was happening.

Looking at the open door and then to his too tight trousers, Jim had two warring thoughts in mind.

The first thought was: Tease!

And the other thought, the one that had him following John into the hotel restaurant, was: Just who have I gotten myself involved with?

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

"So how is the new job treating you?" He took a sip of his scotch, a light grin touching his features.

"It's been fun so far. My flatmate absolutely hates it, and so does his brother. Not that they know what I've been hired for. But you should see my boss!" A playful smile stretched over the doctor's lips.

"Good looking, is he?" If Johnny wanted to play he wouldn't be disappointed.

"Very. I might just get fired for Sexual Harassment if he keeps up being irresistable."

"Maybe he likes the attention, maybe he wants to make your job more secure."

"Ah, but I don't want to be a kept man, you see."

"Poor Johnny. I-"

"Are you gentlemen ready to order?" An oblivious waitress interrupted their conversation, not know that she had probably just shortened her lifespan.

"Yes, we'll both have the steak- medium-rare, baked potato and squash casserole."

"Very well, sir. Anything else?"

"No, thank you. As you were saying, Jim?"

The waitress walked off, never seeing the glare leveled at her back from the most dangerous man she would ever wait upon.

"Nothing. So what have you to report?"

"Ahhh. Going back into boss mode? That's no fun. But I do have something for you."

He pulls out the boxers he got from Sherlock earlier and flaps them around, deliberately gaining the attention of the tables around them.

"John!"

It was a sight to see: two grown men, squabbling over a pair of underpants in the middle of a fancy restaurant.

Jim was the final victor, holding his prize above his head for all to see; after a moment the two burst into laughter.

"You are the most-The Most!- ridiculous man I have ever met, Dr. Watson."

"Thank you! You're not so bad yourself."

"Hmm. So, how did you get this lovely garment away from our intrepid detective?"

"He gave them to me actually. Some nonsense about splitting the bonus."

"Sounds about right." He finished his inspection and set the pants down.

"You already removed the tracer."

It was said as a statement, so John just nodded; ginning at the slightly annoyed look passing across the others' face.

"When did you remove it?" The criminal finally broke down and asked.

"When I was folding them, before I left the flat. There was a delivery man outside while I was getting a cab, so I'm not sure where it is now."

He flashed an innocent smile at his 'boss' and turned to watch as the waitress brought over their food.

Thanking the girl, and giving her the boxers as a tip, John looked back to his amused companion.

"Johnny. Johnny. Johnny. You are something else."

Taking a bite of his steak- perfect, exactly how he liked it- he had another question for the doctor.

"How did you know what I wanted off the menu?"

Wiping his mouth, and taking a sip of his bourbon, John thought about his next statement; this was something Sherlock didn't even know.

"You, Sherlock and Mycroft can all read a situation like an open book. One small look and you can tell what happened, who's involved and how events conspired to pass.

"I can do... something similar with people; it comes in handy when on dates."

Not showing any of the surprise he was feeling, Jim had to know:

"You don't do that for Sherly."

"He doesn't invite participation on his cases. The most I'm allowed to do is be a sounding board that talks back or an extra pair of legs."

"And just where did you come by such a skill?"

"Medical school to start.

"Learning about how the body works made me curious on why, so I took a course in Kinesiology to find out more on the human bodies' motivations and body language.

"Then I joined the army, got training in observational skills and everything clicked.

"It comes in handy with patients who don't want to admit to what's really wrong."

"So you can do this with anyone?"

John felt his cheeks heat in a small blush, he had never shown off this talent before and he just knew he was about to be asked to.

"Yes."

"Alright. Tell me about that couple over there." He pointed to a table on John's right side.

Glancing over, John turned back to his dinner partner.

"I'm sure you know everything about them already."

This was embarrassing. How did Sherlock manage to show off his talents so often when it was this hard to do so?

Oh, he forgot., the git was a narcissistic show-off.

"Humor me. Please." Fine, he would.

"They're both adulterers, though not with each other, if they weren't working right now they would never be seen together."

"Working?" That raised eyebrow wasn't fooling John.

"They're professionals. Assassins maybe, more likely mercenaries from the way they cross their ankles." John just knew his blush was getting worse.

"Just as every table tonight is filled with your people.

"And before you say it, I already know: they are all here for your protection in case I try anything untoward, or am playing possum for the Holmes's.

"Which was good thinking, if Mycroft got wind of just where we were you would need them."

Taking another sip of his fiery drink, John waited.

"Every table?"

What? Oh. He had over looked one.

"The table at the front, their not yours. He bribed the maitre de to get a table.

"He's going to propose over dessert. She's going to dump him over appetizers."

Looking back into dark eyes filled with glee, John felt a thrill run down his spine and warmth pool in his pants.

"Why don't we skip desert and head up to the suite you have on permanent reserve?"

The slightly surprised eyes were quickly replaced by a look of hungry desire.

"O, Johnny boy. We are most definitely going to have fun together."

Johns' smile said he wholeheartedly agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: You know they are not mine. Why do I have to keep repeating myself?**

"This is nice." John said, looking around the suite- it was larger than his whole flat! "Quaint." He turned with a smirk, only to have his lips captured in a bruising kiss.

They somehow managed to navigate their way to the sofa without breaking apart. Falling back onto the cushions, John broke contact to gasp when Jim's' weight fell on him.

"I've been wanting this since our little talk at the café." Jim said before claiming those delicious lips again. Dexterous fingers started undoing the doctors buttons. As hungry lips met his sensitive neck John moaned out an observation.

"You're just after seeing my scar." He could feel a smile against his skin now.

"Maybe I am, but that is only my second goal of the night."

"And the first?" John gasped out as teeth grazed his earlobe.

"To get you on your back under me. And look! I've already accomplished that." Jim was delighted with the shivers he was causing in the man under him. Pulling back he gazed into lust glazed blue eyes.

"Now for my second goal." He added huskily, beginning to peel the suit jacket and shirt from the former soldiers body.

John sat up to make his disrobing easier. Hoping that more eventful activities would still be on the table once they were naked, the doctor pulled off his shirts.

"It's small." The remark sounded almost disappointed. With a small huff, and a forced nonchalance, John shifted around to present his back to he other.

Bracing himself for any and all reactions, he waited. There were, thankfully, no gasps or, worse yet, sobs- he had heard both before- just a quiet examination, almost clinical. He could practically feel his skin being mentally removed and deduced.

"I take it Sherlock doesn't know." Was the first comment made after several minutes of silence.

"I don't really know. I've never shown him and have no plans on doing so. Unless Mycroft said something after unlocking my file, he still hasn't got a clue." Not that Mycroft found out everything, he added to himself.

"I thought you could read people, Johnny. Having trouble with our dear Sherly?" Came the teasing retort.

"He is hard to read sometimes. I think it has something to do with his distancing himself from his 'transport'." A fingertip began to trace one of the lines across his back, and up to the star-burst on his left shoulder.

"Shot at point-blank range around the same time you were tortured. How are you still alive, Johnny?" The last was said in an awed whisper, as a forehead came to rest on his unmarked shoulder.

"I wasn't meant to live. I flinched, it happens." Giving a shrug he turned back around, maybe he would be able to get them off this conversation and back to more interesting topics; like how he was half naked and Jim wasn't.

"There's nothing in your files about any of this. I know. I dug deep." Apparently he wasn't getting lucky tonight.

"If it's any consolation, it took Mycroft three weeks to get his hands on my files. Of course he doesn't have the whole thing; he wouldn't let me live with Sherlock if he did." He saw his mistake in a moment. Moriarty was taking this as a challenge.

He was expecting something, but was still startled when the mad genius jumped up, grabbed a laptop- seemingly out of thin air- and sat in an arm-chair; completely ignoring John in favor of his computer.

John sat a moment, unsure on what he should do now. He could just leave, but he was still horny and this was a nice room. Looking over the dark-haired man, John decided to entertain himself if no one else would.

Getting up and walking over to Jim's new seat, John proceeded to try and make a nuisance of himself.

Running fingers through silky brown hair, ghosting breath against an ear, loosening the smartly knotted tie; nothing had any effect.

'Just like Sherlock in his mind palace.' he thought to himself, and then, 'Oh!' as a terrible idea came to him.

With a filthy grin, that no one would suspect him capable of, John finished undoing the tie. Tie off, he started on buttons; letting his hands caress still hidden flesh he opened up the shirt.

He slowly slipped both shirt and jacket down, only stopping when he had to figure out the hand problem. Reaching out, John quickly grabbed Jim's' left hand and pulled it through the loosened cuff. Repeating himself with the right hand John had only the undershirt left to go.

Sliding hands down a well-formed chest and sides, the doctor grabbed the hem of the shirt and started pulling up. Slipping it over the dark head of hair and down the arms of the oblivious man, he repeated the process of the hands.

Now they were wearing the same amount of clothing. Looking at the neat pile of clothes on the table, John moved around to in front of the sitting man.

Kneeling at the other's' feet, he got to work on the shoes, reveling stocking clad feet. Rolling the cotton garments down he took in the sight of the vulnerable toes, wiggling on the carpet. He had never been a foot man, but seeing those suddenly reveled cute little piggies was turning him on.

Turning back to his goal, John reached under the clacking laptop and started undoing the sleek belt. Undoing the clasp, he pulled the supple leather from its loops. He was starting to pant, this really shouldn't be turning him on this much.

Reaching out, with slightly shaking hands, he undid the trouser button. Pulling the zipper, every click sending a jolt to his cock, John had Jim almost completely undressed.

Hooking his thumbs into the waistband- O dear lord, he wasn't wearing any pants!- John started working the fitted trousers over hips and under a firm arse. By the time the only thing hiding Jim's' modesty was the laptop, Johns' own pants were far too tight.

Quickly undoing his own button and zipper, the blonde man pushed down his pants and let his aching erection free. Taking a firm hold with his left hand and grabbing hold of Jim's' knee with his right, John gave himself a stroke.

Kneeling on the floor, in front of the worlds most dangerous man, giving himself a hand job; John would have laughed at himself if he wasn't so turned on. Making a slow stroke from base to tip and then slamming down again he didn't bother to silence his moans.

Getting a good rhythm going, John was almost there; he just needed a little something more. Leaning down he suck a mark into life on the inside of the consultants thigh. Pulling back he saw a bruise beginning to form, giving a shout he came.

Catching his breath again, he looked up to see no change in Jim's expression. His hottest sexual experience in recent memory, and his partner wasn't even aware it had occurred.

Chuckling to himself, he stood up. Going to pull his pants back up, he stopped. Looking to the oblivious naked man in the chair, John removed the last of his clothes.

Leaving to clean himself up, he explored the suite; it really was amazing. The bedroom held a king size bed, and, going through the nightstand on a whim, quite the selection of lubes, condoms and toys.

Finally finding the bathroom, John luxuriated in the large shower. Drying off and grabbing a robe, and grabbing the second one to take with him, he headed back to the sitting room.

Seeing as he was still being ignored in favor of the internet, John did what any self-respecting bloke would do in a hotel room on someone elses dime: he ordered room service.

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

"You've had quite the career Dr. Watson. I'm impressed." Finally looking up from his computer, Jim was slightly startled to see John sitting on the couch in nothing but a robe, drinking tea.

"You found it? Good job, only took you three hours."

Three hours?! He had not taken three hours! Looking at his timer he noticed that: yes, it had taken him three hours.

"Oh. So what have you been up to while Daddy's been busy, besides ordering room service."

The blonde didn't answer, only turned to look at him. John then raked a look over the genius' form, following the others' gaze Jim looked down at himself.

"Why am I naked?" How had that even happened?

"I was horny and bored. You know about being bored, don't you?"

Glaring at the doctor, the criminal shifted; he paused. Something was wrong with his toes. Taking a cautious look down, he glared harder at the other man.

"You painted my toe nails." John was obviously trying not to laugh too hard.

"You were out of it for three hours! What was I supposed to do? I'd already stripped you naked and jacked off- you haven't even noticed your hickie yet, have you?- and it's not my fault room service here will deliver anything requested."

"But pink?!" The doctor wasn't trying anymore, he was out-and-out laughing.

"I thought you could use some color!" His laughter only increased as Jim bent over to remove the toe separators.

"Stop that."

"But it's funny." He received another glare, which only made his grin widen; if that was possible.

Turning towards his computer the consultant ignored the others' mirth.

"As I was saying! You've had quite a career. You're a doctor-"

"Really? How shocking!" Ignoring the comment, he continued.

"You joined the army-"

"You don't say!" Receiving a glare this time, John decided just be quiet.

"You were recruited by the SAS..." Looking at the other man Jim was pleased to see him being silent.

"After receiving training you were head hunted by MI6, but before you could receive confirmation on your double O status you and your team were captured. You were all subsequently tortured and shot executioner style. You were the only survivor, though it was a close one."

Looking over at the unassuming trained killer, Moriarty found himself being regretful: if only he had found this man first.

"So how did I do compared to the Ice Man?" Asked the Criminal Mastermind.

Setting down his mug, the doctor turned a smile on the criminal that had him instantly on edge.

"Very good. You found out as much as Mycroft did." Jim was about to dive back to his research when he was stopped.

"Hold it! Do not touch that laptop!" Stalking over, John grabbed the piece of tech and threw a robe in its place.

"I have been lonely for the last three hours! I came here under the impression that we would be having sex, and all we've done is a bit of verbal teasing and kissing. Enough is enough! I'll tell you what you missed if you promise to show me some attention afterwards." Looking at the rather dangerous man standing in front of him, Jim gave a nod.

"Alright then." Setting the laptop next to Jim's clothes, John resumed his seat on the sofa.

"I was recruited by MI6, and, unlike what my file says, I was given a double O status. Double O two, at your service." He gave a slight, over-dramatized bow.

"My team was caught on my second mission and I was given up for dead before a ransom note was even sent. When I did get back, no one wanted an injured agent. So my status was revoked, my files whitewashed; I was given an army pension and told to shove off." Taking a breath, the ex-double O looked into the distance; too many bad memories had been brought up in those few sentences.

After a few moments of silence, Jim decided that that was his que.

Deciding seduction was the name of the game, Jim stood up, ignoring the robe that fell to the floor, grabbed the fondue tray off the service cart and took a seat on the sofa.

Taking a marshmallow, and dipping it in the melted chocolate, the brunette ran the sweet treat up the doctors inner thigh.

"I just had a shower." John didn't sound upset at this though, definitely not; not when he was removing his robe to give better access.

"Don't worry about it Johnny, Daddy's here to help." Leaning low, Jim began sucking the confection from the blonde's' skin.

John gave a low moan, he was liking where this was going; but then Jim pulled away.

"I would love to see you covered in chocolate while tied to my bed." Said the consultant in a husky voice.

"I don't do bondage on the first date. You'll just have to wait for our second one." Smirked the doctor, hoping to get those lips back to business.

"Well, we still have chocolate and a bed; I guess that will do." With that Jim grabbed the tray and headed for the bedroom. He smirked as he heard swift foot steps behind him. This was going to be a good night.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: We have finally arrived at the smut!_

**Disclaimer: How I wish I could say they were mine.**

The bed was a mess. Smears of chocolate and dippable treats everywhere. In the middle of this mess lay two happily exhausted people.

A slightly stocky blonde, laying on his stomach, covered in wisps of chocolate and with a strawberry adhered to his right butt cheek.

A lankier, but still well-built, brunette, laying on his back, smudged here and there in the delicious treat from where he had come in contact with the blonde.

"That was fun." Said the blonde.

The brunette only smiles, thinking that if every encounter can be as good as this one, then he will need to find a way to keep this man all to himself.

It had all started innocently enough: two fully grown, consenting adults and a fondue pot.

Nothing odd really, but it had turned into a fight over just who would get to lick who; and had only been resolved when the brunette dumped the whole pot of melted confection on the blonde.

"Jim! That was hot!"

"Only warm, Johnny. And you look so delicious now!" Swooping down he nibbled a chocolate coated nipple.

"Jim! Ahhn!"

"Lets talk later John, Daddy wants a sugar high!" As he began biting his way lower, he remembered he had dippables.

"Oh, Johnny, don't let me be rude!"

Picking up a cube of cake Jim ran it along a thigh, giving it a thick coating of sweetness, he then held it out towards Johns' mouth. The blonde took the offering, as well as the fingers it had been offered with, into his mouth and sucked.

Pulling his fingers free, Jim strove not to give into the urge to just shove the other man down and fuck his throat raw. A resolve that was shaken when John licked his lips.

"I thought Daddy wanted a sugar high?" Running a finger over an arm, he then placed it in his own mouth; hollowing his cheeks he gave a long suck. Releasing his finger with a loud pop, he licked his lips once again as that seemed to elicit the best response from his partner.

"Jimmy? Are you not hungry anymore?" John said as coyly as he could while naked and coated in melted chocolate. He wiggled his hips to draw attention to his hard-on.

"You've left me like this before, Mr. Moriarty. I wouldn't be pleased if you did it again." He had dropped his voice from light and playful to dark and forbidding, the obvious jump in the brunettes prick showed just how much the other enjoyed it.

"Ooooo, Johnny. Showing your dark side. Daddy likes it."

"Daddy is going to like my cock shoved down his throat if he doesn't stop staring and get back to work!" With a grin, Jim grabbed the tray of dippables and dumped them over the cooling chocolate.

"Just needed to make you a real dessert." The growl John let out soon turned into a moan.

Licking up chocolate, fruit, cake and marshmallows; Jim worked on turning this amazing man into a mewling mess. He was doing a good job of it too.

Picking up random sweets he shared them with John through deep, searing kisses as he made his way lower and lower. Finally reaching the tight shaft, the brunette began to nibble the base. Ruffling the short blonde hairs with his nose, Jim was content with his position; John, however, wasn't.

"Damn it, Jim, you tease!" Pulling on dark locks in a vain attempt to get those lips to do more, John had had enough. Flipping them, he straddled the consultants chest.

"If you won't give me what I want, I'll just take it!" Jim didn't struggle, and it didn't take an observational genius to note his look of glee at this turn of events.

Pushing his hard cock against tightly sealed and smirking lips, John growled. Leaning back the doctor quickly found the other's' prick, reaching a bit further he grabbed the tight ball-sack.

Giving a light squeeze to the sensitive flesh the mouth in front of him opened in an involuntary gasp. Pushing in John was instantly surrounded by tight, wet heat.

So hot! So good! Rocking his hips, John began to fuck Jim's' mouth. He paid no mind when the passive man under him reached out a hand to the nightstand.

Keeping up his steady pace, it wasn't until a slick finger pushed against his entrance that John remembered that his partner wasn't a passive man in any situation. Stilling his hips, he relaxed as the finger worked its way inside. As it began to move, so did he.

When the searching finger found his prostate, John shoved his cock halfway down Jim's' throat. Pulling back he expected a gagging man; instead he got flipped.

"I don't have a gag reflex, Johnny." Before the doctor could say or do anything, Jim had wrapped his lips around the blondes dick and took him down to the root.

Working two fingers inside the writhing mess of a man, Jim began to bob his head. He was going to fuck his John into next week!

John wanted- no, needed- to be fucked and fucked now! He was so far gone he would resort to begging for it- so he did.

"Jim, please! I need your cock! Now! Please!" Normally the criminal wouldn't be moved by such blatant begging, but hearing it come from this conundrum of a man, it made Jim's' cock harden painfully. He needed it too.

Without giving a warning, Jim rolled John onto his stomach. Pulling the man onto all fours, he sank to the hilt in one thrust.

With a cry at being filled so quickly, the doctor tried to relax; tried to will his body to adjust to the sudden intrusion. As the burn subsided into a more pleasurable heat, John pushed his hips back in a signal to continue.

Finally! Jim had been getting impatient waiting for John to adjust. Grabbing those glorious hips in hand he began to thrust.

Harder, faster; he needed to hear more of those small desperate pleas from the good doctors lips.

John was desperate. He was filled and fucked, but it wasn't enough! Suddenly a hand appeared around his heavy prick.

"Relax, Johnny. Daddy's got you." Pressing John further into the mattress, Jim stroked him in time with his own thrusts; quickly bringing the blonde to completion.

Sitting up he started pounding hard into the other man, chasing his own orgasm. With a shout of 'John!' he came deep inside the ex-agent.

Carefully pulling out, Jim rolled to the side and stared at the ceiling. That had been the most intense fuck session of his entire adult life.

"That was fun." Came the tired comment from next to him. Jim only smiled.

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

The next morning, after a round of hot shower sex, a discussion began over breakfast.

"What is your dirtiest fantasy, Dr. Watson?" Jim asked with a lecherous smile, hoping to catch the other man off guard.

Pretending to think the question over, John countered with one of his own:

"Personal, voyeuristic, multi-partnered, kinky or vanilla?" Taking a bite of his eggs, he watched the others' eyes light up.

"All of the above!"

"I'll tell if you will."

"Deal."

"Okay. In order then. What is your dirtiest personal fantasy, Mr. Moriarty? That means: what would you like to have personally done to you."

"To me? Let's see... Ah! I would like to be tied to a chair, and teased until I came in my pants." Jim gave a smirk, as much as to say: Top that!

"Nice. I would want to be blind folded and given verbal instructions on how to please my partner during sex until we were both satisfied."

"Ooo, Johnny, and we're not even at the kinky stuff yet!"

"Just you wait. Voyeuristic next. What would you like to watch?"

"Mm, I've spied on sooo much. What haven't I seen?" Tapping a finger, he stared at the man across from him. A smile split his lips, and he finally answered.

"I would love to see you taken apart by a dominatrix, while I sit in the corner like the bad little boy I am." He flashed a wicked grin just thinking about it.

"I want to watch you tie Sherlock down and lick him into a whimpering mess." The criminals shocked face was priceless, and John snapped a picture with his phone before it could change.

"Sherly?! You want to bring him in on this?!"

"I never said that. I'm not attracted to him; at least I haven't been since the first time he opened his mouth. His ego destroys all the good nature did him.

"But I would like to see him made putty in a pair of skilled hands. And the thought of you two together... let's just say I've thought it over more than a few times.

"Multi-partnered next." Jim gaped like a fish for a moment before finding his voice once more.

"I think I'll skip this round. I don't believe I could stand the thought of sharing you at the moment."

"Too bad. I quite liked the thought of a three-way; between you, me and maybe that tall blonde sniper you had delivering room service last night."

"Sebastian?! I'll never be able to look at him the same now, you know that; right?"

"Not my problem. Kinky next." Jim gave a huff and then smiled.

"You first this time. I'm tired of being out-done."

"Afraid you can't keep up with the imagination of a horny old soldier? Alright then: beeswax candles, bondage, a cock-ring and a vibrating anal-plug. You?"

"Give me a moment! You fill my head with such images, and then expect me to still be able to think? What do you think I'm made of: stone?"

"No. I think you're a genius who doesn't want to admit what he wants, at least not to me. Out with it Jim; I'm a big boy, I can take it." Gritting his teeth, not yet sure if he liked being read so easily, Jim gave his answer.

"Whipping."

"On yourself or someone else?"

"Either."

"Hmm. I could get into that."

"On yourself or someone else?"

"Either." They shared a grin, the moment of tension fading.

"Lastly we have vanilla. Want me to go first again?"

"Yeah. I like your answers, Johnny boy."

Stabbing the last of his breakfast, and chewing slowly to give himself time, John thought about what he would want in a normal relationship. Swallowing, he looked right into Jim's' eyes, and gave his answer.

"Romance."

"Romance?" Jim prompted, wanting to see just what John meant by that.

"Being wined and dinned. Slowly seduced. Taking it slow. Soft touches and gentle kisses. Romance." John had turned away, more embarrassed by this admission than any of his previous ones.

"Johnny? John, look at me." Looking up they met eyes again.

"That sounds nice. Maybe we can do that some time." Jim smiled, sincerely.

Giving a slight smile, that quickly turned into a smirk, John prompted:

"Your turn. What vanilla secret do you have?"

"Me? Johnny, please."

"Come on, if I can admit to it so can you."

"That's assuming a lot."

"Now, now Jimmy. Out with it."

"Fine! I would like to date."

"Date?"

"Yes, date! Go to the movies, eat take-out in front of the telly, have mutual wanks and kiss goodnight! Date!" Jim now understood Johns' earlier embarrassment, he just wanted to hide.

"That sounds nice." Looking up he relaxed at the reassuring smile on his doctors' face.

"Maybe we could try that some time." Giving a flirtatious wink the ex-soldier stood up.

"Going somewhere, John?"

"Time to get back to the real world. And my 'job', of course." Jim really didn't want John to leave, but it was for the best he supposed.

"Of course, don't want the Brothers getting too worked up. By the way, your bonus for the briefs will be in your account by midday."

"That's fine. Any other 'assignments' I need to work on? If I'm going to be playing 'irritate the Holmes's' for you, then I should have a specific goal in mind."

"True. How about Mycroft's umbrella? That should be fun, and of course another substantial bonus if you succeed. I don't want you scrambling around for no reward, Johnny." With a chuckle, and a peck to Jim's' lips, the blonde headed for the door.

"Until next time, Jim."

"Until then, Doctor." My sexy 002, he added to himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: If I owned them I would have them wearing a lot less clothing!**

The flat was blissfully empty when John returned. Going up to his room he changed out of his day old date clothes, and into a more comfortable jumper and jeans.

Heading down to the kitchen, John began making tea; just as the kettle boiled Sherlock returned.

Quietly finishing his tea prep, John ignored the piercing eyes on his back. Turning around, he handed a mug to the tall detective before making his way into the sitting room and to his chair.

"I'm after Mycroft's umbrella next. You in?" The doctor asked while taking a seat gingerly- he was still feeling the effects of the night before.

The indecipherable noise Sherlock made at his slight groan startled John into remembering and piecing together small clues from the past few months, it finally clicked. Sherlock was attracted to him! He was jealous of Jim because of what they had done the night before! He wanted to be the one to make John groan in day old appreciation!

"I will not help you with your job." John barely heard the answer to his question- or caught the glint in icy blue eyes, Sherlock would help if only to spite his brother- he was so caught up in the sudden realization. Several minutes passed before either man spoke again.

"You are very easy to read when distracted John." The doctor looked into the tall brunettes' eyes, finally coming out of his shock.

"And yes, I am, indeed, very attached to you. One may go so far as to say: I am attracted to you. I realized it after the Pool, but you have always been adamant that you are 'not gay'; so I never pursued the physical aspect of those feelings." John could not believe he was getting a confession of love- or as close to one as could be expected, this was Sherlock after all- from his flatmate!

"Moriarty John?" The hurt look he was receiving might have given the blonde pause, if he wasn't able to tell that it was contrived.

"What does he have that I don't?" Let's see... a sense of humor, a sexy laugh, a perfectly perverted imagination and a shit-ton of triggers that it is so much fun to pull. Of course John knew better than to say any of that.

"Besides an Evil Empire and lots of money." Hey, yeah, John hadn't even figured that into the mix!

Seeing no discernible changes in his friends' face, the detective made his way over to the doctor. Setting his tea down, Sherlock knelt in front of the other man and rested his hands on heavily muscled thighs- what he would give to finally see his John naked!

"I am better than him John, give me a chance and I can show you how much better I am at anything he tries." Leaning forward he was met with a porcelain rim instead of soft lips.

"Sherlock..." The affectionate exasperation in his bloggers' voice was all he needed to know that John wasn't yet willing to see the truth. Standing suddenly, Sherlock retreated to his room before anything more could be said on the matter.

John may not be receptive to the detectives' advances yet, but in time he would be; and Sherlock didn't want him to feel embarrassed about something he said while still under the influence of That Man. Settling back on his bed he entered his mind palace, he needed a good idea on how to proceed with his courtship of John.

John knew exactly why the git had left in such a rush. He expected John to come crawling to him at some point, and didn't want to deal with apologies and excuses when it happened! Plus he didn't want to hear rejection so had removed himself before it could happen!

Not liking that Sherlock now thought he was a player in John's' sex life, the doctor tried to think of a way to 'subtly' let Sherlock know he didn't have a chance. An idea suddenly coming to mind he reached for his phone.

**I want to have revenge sex. How fast can you get some restraints over here? JW **Pausing before sending, John reflected if this was the best idea.

Probably not, but it would be the most fun. The reply came almost instantly.

**What kind do you prefer? JM**

**Leather. They need to be adjustable so that they with restrain comfortably. Four pair, please. JW**

**On my way. JM**

**What exactly are we getting revenge for? JM **John hesitated to answer that one, then shrugged; Jim would find out quickly enough anyway.

**Sherlock wants me to date him instead of you. JW**

**I'll kill him. JM **John smirked. Typical.

**No need. It's why your bringing over the restraints. JW**

**And can you bring a camera too? Thanks! JW**

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

It was dark by the time Sherlock pulled himself back to reality. Checking the time- 3:42am- he decided that it would be best to start his plans after John woke up instead of immediately.

Walking into the sitting room, he was about to sit in his chair when he paused. Turning on all the lights, and circling the piece of furniture several times, Sherlock whimpered.

His chair! They had used his chair!

Small scuffs on the armrests and front legs showed that someone had been restrained- leather cuffs if he was any judge.

Indents in the carpet showed where someone had been kneeling. The fact that everything had been carefully cleaned proved it had gotten messy.

Small threads of fabric scattered about made him shudder.

What the hell had they been doing while he was one room away!

The blonde hair trapped in the seam of the back cushion told him who had been restrained, and he didn't need to guess at who the other participant was.

Spotting three more indents in the carpet, Sherlock frowned. Why would they have set up a camera? And there? They wouldn't have gotten a great view of what happened in the chair from that angle.

Grabbing his laptop- it was the closer one for once- he flopped into Johns' chair and glared at the offending piece of furniture in front of him. Opening his e-mail- he just needed something to take his mind off the horrible images going on behind his eyes- he spotted one labeled 'Daddy'.

Opening the already offending piece of electronic mail, he read: _This wasn't my idea. But damn if it wasn't fun!_

There was also a video attached. Knowing what he was about to see, Sherlock still couldn't stop himself from opening the file.

It started with a view of the sitting room, and John sitting in his own chair.

"Come now love, tell Daddy what you want." Moriarty crooned. Sherlock hated that voice with a passion.

"Daddy doesn't know?" John asked teasingly. Why John?! Why him?!

"Ooo, a challenge!" Damn the man.

"Let's see if Sherly has any ideas!" What?

The camera bobbed a bit as the holder moved down the hall. A door opened and Sherlock could see himself- so that is what he looked like while in his mind palace- it made his flesh crawl to think he had been so vulnerable with that spider in his and Johns' home.

Looking at his poor chair again, he let himself shudder- worse had happened tonight than him being vulnerable.

"Sherly? Sheeerrrrlyy? Wakey, wakey, eggs and bacy!

"Sherlock! Oh poo, it seems your out. Too bad, your going to miss one hell of a show. But don't worry, I'll make sure you get to at least see a copy of this."

A hand reached out from the side view and ruffled the oblivious mans' hair. His hair!

The scene shifted to the hall again and back to the sitting room. A tripod was in view now, set just where Sherlock had known it had been.

"It's playtime Johnny! Come to daddy."

John stood and began to walk towards the camera, he hadn't taken more than a step before he was stopped.

"Now, now Johnny, you know better."

John only raised an eyebrow.

"Crawl." No John! Not for him!

John got on his hands and knees and began to crawl.

"That's a good little pet, crawl to Daddy."

Sherlocks' brain began to shut down at this point. His John was willingly crawling for That Man in their living room- it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen!

"Perfect John. Now undo Daddys' belt. With your teeth." Sherlock shuddered, he could imagine he was on the receiving end of such treatment.

John had finally gotten the belt undone, as well as the button and zipper. He pulled Jims' pants down and took the half hard cock in his mouth.

Sherlock moaned, he could practically feel those lips himself!

"Oh Johnny! You're so good at this!" Sherlock moaned watching his John deep-throat his worst enemy- he was so hard already! Looking again at his chair he knew he wouldn't last to the end- they had barely begun!

"Yes John, just like that. Not long now, Daddy is almost there. Yes. Yes! Ahhnn!"

John swallowed.

Sherlock nearly passed out, he was raging hard and there was more to come.

"Good little pet. Now into the chair, Daddy needs to begin his work." The filthy smirk John wore, with a line of come dribbling down his chin, nearly made the watching man release into his own pants.

"Where does Daddy want me?"

"Sherly's chair, love. He doesn't need it right now."

John sat back in the indicated chair and looked speculatively up at the camera man.

"Now what?" Sherlock could see he knew what was about to happen and was just going along with the script now.

"Now? Now Daddy has some fun!"

The camera wobbled a bit as it was attached to the tripod, then Moriarty stepped into view. The camera was set just behind and to the side of the chair making it impossible to see what was happening directly but still able to tell what was going on.

Taking wide leather restraints from a bag, the on camera brunette secured Johns' arms to the armrests.

"Too tight love?"

"Not at all."

Next came another set around the ankles.

"Too tight?"

"The left, a bit."

Adjustments were made.

"That's just perfect."

"Sit tight, Daddy will be right back." By this point Sherlock was in a daze, all he could do was watch and wish he had been there instead of the criminal.

Moriarty came back, he had a pair of scissors in his hand.

"Your jumpers are lovely, but I really think this one could use some adjustment!"

Kneeling in front of the chair, the brunette began by cutting a hole in a sleeve. Getting under the fabric Jim began to run the scissors up the arm, exposing strong arms to his perusal.

Bending over he licked the newly exposed flesh.

"Oooohh! Jiimmm!"

"Johnny! I am amazed at you! We've only just begun, love. Do try to pace yourself!"

He began the same treatment on the other arm, John tossed his head back and bit his lips to stifle his moans.

"A little noise is appreciated, just don't be so wanton about it."

The kneeling man chuckled as the restrained man let out a gutteral moan when his shirt was finally cut free from his chest.

"If I had know restraining you would affect you this much, I would have insisted you let me do so last night."

John only panted, he was already wrecked and his pants were still on.

Sherlock didn't even realize he had started undoing his own trousers.

"Jim! Please!"

"Fine Johnny, but I get to choose the venue for our next date."

"Fine, just hurry!"

A dark chuckle accompanied the cutting off of Johns' pants.

Sherlock wrapped a hand around his straining erection.

"My, my Johnny. I'd bring the camera around for a showing of this impressive cock of yours, but you know how jealous I get. My candy!"

John cried out as Jim began making loud and lewd sucking noises.

Sherlock pumped himself in time with Johns' panting.

"Ooooo, Jiiimmmyyy! Mooorrrreee! Fuck!" Sherlock realized that John was getting stretched as well as sucked, he pumped himself harder.

With a pop Jim pulled off and sat up.

"Your wish is my command, Johnny!"

Grabbing Johns' hips, Jim pulled the blonde to the edge of the chair. John was slumped down, still tied up and making desperate little sounds of encouragement.

"Ready love?"

"You blasted tease! Fuck me!"

Jim rammed himself in and John cried out in ecstasy.

Sherlock came: long, hard and with a cry.

He lay back on the sofa and watched the rest of the video. Listening to his John cry out for another man. Watching as his friend and flatmate took it from That Man.

It finished with mutual cries of pleasure. John was released from his binding and gave the non-Sherlock brunette a deep kiss.

The screen went black and the video and e-mail erased themselves, not that Sherlock cared. He was exhausted, physically and mentally.

He wasn't stupid, he knew this had been Johns' idea. He wanted Sherlock to know that he was happy with how things were, and wasn't interested in a relationship with Sherlock.

The detective thought over what he should do now: he could either let John continue in his doomed infatuation with That Man, or he could simply try harder to get John to see reason and accept him as his inevitable future partner.

Looking at the blank screen of his laptop, and over at his chair; Sherlock decided. John would eventually come around, he just had to be persistent.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I want them to be mine soooo much! Why can't they be mine?**

With an exaggerated bow John presented the newly liberated brolly to Jim.

"Excellent work John, and all without Sherly's help too. Bravo!"

The two men were in a private dinning room at an exclusive club in downtown London. If you weren't a member, or the registered guest of a member, you just didn't get in.

Taking a seat- and ignoring the 'play' items on the walls least he not have enough blood left above his belt to think straight- John sipped at the lovely wine Jim had ordered.

"So... you're a member."

"So are you Johnny! But, in fact, I own this establishment- it is quite lucrative I might add."

"I bet. If it wasn't for my new 'job' with you I would have had to cancel my membership for lack of funds to pay the annual fee- which would have been very disappointing." At Jim's chuckle John let himself smile a bit more.

"I'll get you a lifetime membership- no more fees, just all the fun you can want- I don't ever want to not see you here because of something as petty as money."

"Thank you." As their food began to arrive John made a mental note to properly show his thanks later. Jim changed the subject once the waiters were gone.

"So, has Sherlock made another move on you yet?" With a sigh- he really didn't want to think about his flatmate tonight- John laid out what had been happening at 221b the last few days.

"He's been polite, kept his experiments confined and away from the edible food; and he's tried to jump me in the shower- twice. Any appeal he might have once had for me has quickly evaporated. He's driving me up the wall!" Looking at the- carefully hidden, though not hidden enough- jealous rage building up in his table companion, John decided to change the subject.

"What I want is someone secure enough in themselves to just be who they are, and not try to change on the notion that I would want them more if they do. They would need to be comfortable with who they are and secure in the knowledge that I'm with them for that reason." Taking a slow bite of his steak, and looking at Jim with a flirty smile from under his lashes, John swallowed and asked:

"Do you know anyone like that Jim?"

"I don't know John, I meet sooo many people in my line of work. Maybe I could-"

Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Stayin Alive, Stayin Alive

Closing his eyes in embarrassment Jim then gave John a look of apology. Motioning with his fork that the brunette should answer, John turned back to his plate while the consultant answered his phone.

"What?! I'm busy!" A pause and a snarl later Jim turned to his dinner companion.

"My position has been compromised, we'll have to continue this elsewhere."

"Fine, but you owe me half a dinner now." Standing and giving a light kiss to his doctor, Jim led the way through a secret passage built solely for his use- there had to be some perks to owning the building.

As they reached the nondescript town car Jim favored, John kept lookout for potential threats. As the driver moved to open the door John put him in a sleeper hold until he passed out.

As Jim looked on dispassionately, John tied the driver up and shoved him in the back seat. Once John climbed into the drivers seat, and Jim had climbed into the passenger, the criminal couldn't contain his curiosity anymore.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why did you incapacitate my driver?"

"You noticed his hands right?"

"He always wears gloves. What am I missing?"

"The hands were just the final indicator. He was nervous when he spotted you- more so than normal- he fumbled for the car keys because his hands were shaking so bad and he fumbled the door handle. All that coupled with his not having seen his wife and children for three days..."

"Now I know how others feel when I pull random facts together in front of them. You don't mind if I verify all this?" He asked while pulling out his phone.

"Go right ahead, and you might let that sniper of yours know that security around you has been compromised. You might just need to move flats again." Giving a hum Jim bent over his phone- completely ignoring John just as he had in the hotel room.

Half an hour of aimless driving later, and another full hour once he had decided on a destination- he had already dropped the driver at a very surprised Sebastian's door- John parked in a private underground garage and waited for Jim to come out of it. He didn't have long to wait.

"There we are, all security holes clogged. Thanks for giving the driver to Seby- though I'd like to know how you knew where he was." At John's secretive smirk Jim just laughed.

"Why did MI6 let you go again?"

"I was just too damn sexy and it made the other agents jealous."

"I'll believe it." Looking around and not recognizing the structure, Jim gave John a look.

"This is a perfect place to snuff someone John. Why are we here?" John snorted.

"Not to kill anyone. This is one of my safe houses- I keep it under the name of Banes- you needed somewhere to lay low and I figured this would do. Though I haven't been here in a few weeks it shouldn't be too dusty." Stepping out of the car John waited for Jim to follow.

As they headed to an elevator on one side of the garage John took out his phone and pulled the back off. Using the key he had tapped to the battery, John opened the private elevator and punched the top floor. As they rose Jim kept staring at the 'plain and simple' doctor by his side.

"What?" He could have answered his own question, but wanted to know how Jim would phrase it.

"You just keep getting more and more interesting Johnny." John gave a smile.

"Wait 'till you see my apartment." Just then the doors slid open and John pulled another key from his shoe to open the single door facing the elevator.

Jim stepped in and struggled to remember to breathe. He had some amazing flats, but nothing on this scale!

"Why do you live with Sherly and only use this as a safe house?! How do you even afford all this? And you were complaining about membership fees earlier!"

"I own this apartment outright, as well as several others, that is how I can afford it- there are some perks to having worked for the government." John headed to the large bar covering the entire wall opposite the floor to ceiling windows.

"I live with Sherlock because it is too lonely to live here alone, and I would go stir crazy without the constant excitement and unpredictability he provides." Pouring two tumblers of scotch, John headed back over to Jim.

"And as for complaining about money problems... if I had to cut my budget then unnecessary recreational pursuits would be the first to go." Handing a glass to a still stunned international criminal, John took the opportunity to plant a soft kiss on slightly parted lips.

"I'll be upstairs taking a shower, if you can find your way there..." Leaving his sentence hanging, John took his own drink and left a gasping genius in his living room.

It took Jim a bit to round up his scattered thoughts- Could John get anymore perfect? Downing his scotch in one gulp, Jim went exploring.

It took longer than he expected to check every room on the first level- the Penthouse took up the entire top two floors of the building! Climbing the wrought iron stair case at one side of the central living room, Jim finally went in search of his personal double O.

Walking through a set of double doors Jim found him. Laying sprawled and naked on a king sized bed, slowly stroking his heavy erection, John licked his lips when Jim finally dragged his eyes upwards.

Pulling his clothes off hastily, Jim quickly joined John in bed; and found himself on his back with a tongue prodding his tonsils.

"If you had taken any longer to get up here I would have given up on you." Jim whined when John pulled back to talk and tried to pull him back down.

"Never give up Johnny, I'll come running of you just call." John evaded the seeking lips and bit his way down a slender neck and across a well-formed chest. Taking a sensitive nipple between his teeth, John rolled it around before biting down.

"Buggering fuck! John!" Smirking at the response he was able to get, the doctor made his way lower.

Wrapping his lips around the sensitive head of the lovely prick in front of him, John also lubed up two fingers. Beginning to suck he pressed one digit at Jim's tight entrance- and was met by a clamping down of muscles.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't bottom John."

"You don't, have never or just don't like it?"

"I don't like it."

"Then that is a failing of your previous partners. I promise, once I'm done you won't remember why you complained." As he spoke John had slowly moved his finger further in. Now, nibbling at the sensitive flesh still poised before his lips, he began to move that finger.

"Just give me a chance Jim. I will stop if you really want me to, but please, give me a chance."

"You better make it good." Smiling, John took Jim down to the root at the same time he found his prostate.

"John! Damn you!" Trying to buck his hips, but unable to get any deeper in John's throat, Jim felt himself quickly closing in on his orgasm from the double assault. Before he could come John pulled back and removed his finger.

Panting, Jim glared at the doctor between his legs. John just smiled: he had promised it would be good, so he would make it very good.

"Don't look at me like that, we've only just begun." Dipping his head once more he began to lick at the sensitive flesh.

Pushing his finger in once more, John was pleased that he got no complaints this time. Teasing Jim with his tongue and finger, the doctor was soon able to add a second.

Bobbing his head at the same pace as he thrust in his fingers, John brought Jim to the brink once more. Pushing in a third finger he let the brunette come.

As Jim lay back panting, John slicked himself up. Lining himself up with Jim's stretched entrance he slowly began to push in.

He lay back after one of the most intense orgasms of his life. He knew John would take him now, but at this point he didn't care. If he could make it feel half as good as he already had then Jim was all for it.

As he was penetrated for the first time in years, he couldn't suppress his moan.

"That's it Jim, feels good doesn't it, I'm going to make you wish we had met years ago." But I already do, Jim thought. Before he could say a word John began to move.

Panting and swearing, Jim felt the electric pleasure of his prostate being hit over and over; it was almost too much. He was still sensitive after having just come and didn't think he could take much more.

A sudden harsh snap of powerful hips had Jim screaming John's name as he released for a second time, this time without being touched.

Trying to catch his breath, Jim silently begged for John to just finish inside him- this was just all too much for him to take.

John picked up Jim's limp legs and placed them on his shoulders. Leaning forward to press their foreheads together- at the same time bending Jim in two- John lightly kissed the exhausted brunette.

"Move for me Jim." Opening his eyes Jim looked up at his blonde.

"John... I..."

"Move Jim. Make me feel as good as I made you feel..." Pressing another kiss to the swollen lips of his lover, John waited.

Finally the brunette began to move. His position- folded in half with his knees on his chest- made movement hard, but he worked his muscles as best as he could.

"Yes Jim, just like that, keep going." John reached a hand between them and began stroking Jim's limp member back into life.

Moving a bit faster he began to pant- it felt so good!- and John began adding his own shallow thrusts. Moaning the most obscene curses he knew, Jim came for the third time in less than an hour.

John carefully pulled his hard cock out, it was time for his own pleasure.

Exhausted to the point of passing out, Jim let John roll him over. He could barely groan as he was filled once more.

As John began to pound into him and Jim could feel it through his whole body. John was beginning to pant and Jim knew the end was near.

With a final shout of the brunette's name the blonde came deep inside his lover.

As he was filled with the hot liquid, Jim felt his body shake through a fourth orgasm; and he immediately passed out.

Surprised at that last orgasm he had caused, John carefully settled a sleeping Jim on the comforter and went to the bathroom; he returned a moment later clean and with a warm wash clothe. He then cleaned Jim up and placed him under the sheets.

He would have to ask tomorrow if the criminal consultant had enjoyed himself.

Turning off the light, John crawled into bed with Jim. It was getting more and more apparent to him just how much they complemented each other.

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJM

Mycroft was perplexed- and that was a hard thing for him to admit to- he had awoken that morning to find that his umbrella was missing; nothing else, just his brolly.

None of his alarms had been tripped. His security cameras had caught nothing. If he were a lesser man he might think he had simply misplaced it.

With a sigh the British government pulled out his phone and called the one man who would know where his umbrella was, and way it had been taken. Although, getting a straight answer might be hard.

After twenty rings the other party finally picked up.

"I don't have your umbrella, and I haven't broken into your apartment in months."

"Little brother, if that is the case then were is -"

"Probably in That Man's hands right now."

"And how, exactly, did Moriarty get ahold of my -"

"You already know who gave it to him, you just don't want to believe it."

"Please stop interrupting me, you know -"

"How annoying it is? Yes I do. And before you ask I don't know where John is, he spent the night with That Man and I lost him somewhere in upper London. He is very good at his job, you know."

"Annoying us, yes. I am well aware of that. Well thank you Sherlock -" He stopped speaking when he realized he was talking to a dial tone.

Making a few calls, Mycroft set about reopening his file on one John Hamish Watson. He must have missed something the first time, he knew- no matter how much that thought rankled in his mind.

Just as he was leaving for the office his phone buzzed with a text.

**And I want a copy of whatever you find out. SH**

Allowing himself a quiet snort, the ginger headed out his door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: They wear too many clothes for me to own them.**

Jim awoke to the feel of soft lips nibbling on his neck. Threading a hand into short blonde locks he opened his eyes.

"John... not now." Warm blue eyes smiled into his own and a quick kiss landed on his lips.

"Come on, I've drawn you a bath." Letting himself be helped up, Jim finally realized how sore he was.

"Yeah, sorry; I should have been more gentle but you were being so damn sexy I couldn't help myself." John apologised while leading Jim into the master bathroom and over to the large hot tub he had previously filled.

"Don't worry about it. It was fun!" Jim practically moaned out as he relaxed into the hot water- too perfect!

"We should do it again soon."

"Alright, how about after you've cleared up your security leaks?" John commented as he slipped in next to his lover.

"I did that last night." The brunette said as he arranged himself to sit between John's legs and lean against the impressive chest that he was privileged to see so much of.

"You'll have to talk to Sebastian about that." John took pity on the still exhausted man- last night had been incredible after all- and answered his question before he could ask it. As he spoke he began to wash the brunette, lovingly caressing the smooth flesh under his finger tips.

"I called and had him bring up some supplies and your overnight bag- you can stay here while you sort things out- he's down stairs waiting for you." Wrapping strong arms around a narrow waist John keep his psychotic partner in place.

"You'll talk to him later, you need to relax and enjoy yourself right now. You don't want him to see you like this do you?" And the doctor lowered his hand and began to fist the powerful erection Jim hadn't even realized he had.

"Damn it John! How do you do this to me?!" Even as he said this he was bucking his hips, trying to get more friction from the slippery hand that just wouldn't give it to him.

"Relax Jim, let your doctor take care of you." Giving a long, hard stroke from base to tip John relished the needy moan he received.

Taking up his washing once more the blonde ignored the whining of his brunette. Chuckling, he bit at a sensitive earlobe and was rewarded by a nasty growl.

"Johnny! I could have you killed you know!"

"I know Jim... that's what makes you soooo sexy!" Nuzzling the side of a long neck John finally resumed his stroking.

Pulling hard one moment and slowly squeezing down to the base the next, John teased the criminal until he was shaking like a leaf.

"Please John... please." Panting hard Jim couldn't believe he was reduced to begging. He had never begged before in his life!

Relaxing back into his lover, Jim let his body be played like a fine instrument. Groaning and panting turned into cursing and moaning as he slowly lost all control. It was only minutes- but felt like hours to Jim- until John finally allowed him to come.

Breathing hard Jim turned enough to look into amused blue eyes.

"And people call ME evil..." And then his lips were caught in a sloppy kiss.

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

Dried off and dressed, Jim was once more in control.

"Sebastian brought breakfast, but as it's almost noon now I think we might order out. Unless you prefer cold-" He was stopped dead by a harsh kiss. Once they broke apart John looked into deadly cold eyes.

"Do you still want him?" It didn't take John but a moment to know what Jim was getting at. Laughing, he pulled his lover into a tight embrace.

"He's sexy, but not nearly as sexy as you; so don't worry. Now that I've actually met him I can also see that he has no interest in any kind of physical relationship involving you." Leaning up slightly John gave a small, sweet kiss to the jealous man holding him.

"If you want to be possessive and jealous then be my guest, but just don't go killing off every person I find hot- you'd run out of bullets."

"I'm not jealous." Giving Jim a look that clearly implied that he had better work on his acting skills if that was the case, John led the way downstairs.

Sebastian had been checking out the spacious penthouse while waiting for his boss to come down. The only times he had ever been in such an extravagant setting before was when he played bodyguard for Jim at special events- and most of those had been less grandiose than this!

He was a nervous wreck because of what he had to tell his unpredictable boss, but couldn't think of anyway around it. He had just found the door for the balcony- and was thinking that it might be quicker to just jump- when a voice from behind made him jump- he really wished Jim would stop doing that.

"Sebby! So what is this I hear about more leaks in my network?" Glancing over at a very calm and collected John Watson, the mercenary hesitated to speak. He knew that these two had something going on- and he so did not want to think on that- but he didn't know how much of his business Jim wanted to share with his new (friend? lover? play-toy?) associate.

"Talk Moran. I'm fairly certain John already knows what you're going to say, so just say it." Not liking that tone- calm, cool, in control; it almost always preceded someone getting killed(usually the person telling the bad news)- the sniper made his report.

"I spent last night trying to find out how someone was able to get close enough to corrupt your driver, and I found three other higher up employees in the same situation- their families all taken hostage and threatened unless they cooperated." At this Jim raised an eyebrow. Four of his most trusted employees turned? Impressive.

"Additionally, about half of you flats are now too hot to use-they have already been severed from the network. And since last night I have found five spies from three of your rivals- but I cannot find how they got in!" Jim had gone silent as Sebastian continued to list the faults in his system, it was unnerving the hardened killer.

"Sir, I take full responsibility. There is no excuse for what has happened, and I will understand if you wish to replace me as head of security." But please let me live, he internally added but with no real hope.

For a few moments he truly believed that he wouldn't walk out alive, but suddenly his boss turned to the ex-army doctor lounging on a sofa.

"What do you think John? How would you handle such a wide scale breach?" The doctor pursed his lips a moment and then gestured to the mercenary in his living room.

"First, I'd reassure my right hand man that I wasn't going to kill him for events that are obviously not his fault. He looks ready to fall apart from nerves as it is.

"Secondly, I'd do a system purge. Clear all the extra people clogging up your organization. Streamline it. It's harder to slip spies into a place when everyone knows everyone else- that will at least work in the upper levels, but that is where such measures are most needed.

"Thirdly- and I'd pair this with my second point- hit your rivals hard. Send them the heads of their spies. Make a run on their headquarters- using the people you want to get rid of in the first place, kill two birds with one stone. Keep them running scared if you can't take them out completely. Send them the message that a small attempt is met by heavy consequences.

"And finally, I'd confuse the hell out of everyone." Jim, who had been keeping up nicely until this point, looked a bit confused.

"And just how would I confuse them? And why would I want to?" Smirking in a way that made Moran wish he wasn't in a closed room with these two, John elaborated.

"Confuse them by being random. Take on a petty assassination here or support a small time gang there. Start up charities, and be seen as a good Samaritan. Work towards the 'greater good' one week, and then the next cause massive chaos just for shits and giggles.

"And you would do it all so that you can be seen as completely unpredictable. If no-one can figure out what you could possibly be up to next, then they will be harder put to taking you down."

"No-one can get to me now. Why would I need to be more unpredictable than I already am?"

"If you're so unpredictable then why are you hiding in my safe house?" Sebastian would have run at the look Jim leveled at John, but the ex-soldier just smiled. The mercenary really- Really!- did not want to know why.

"Jim, there is nothing wrong with getting complacent- You've just gotten too good at being the best!- now you just need to spice things up. Make a game out of it."

"I have a game going."

"Sherlock doesn't count. You could take him out anytime you wanted and you know it. What I'm saying is: play a game against everyone. You are the best, everyone who knows of you knows that. Now you just need to make them admit it." Standing, John wrapped his arms around his brunette.

"I heard somewhere once that a person is only truly successful at their job once they are paid to not do it anymore. Why don't you get you clients to pay you to stop working?"

"And how would I do that?" Moran really didn't want to be here, especially not with his boss practically purring his words.

"You're a smart man. Why don't you figure it out for yourself?" Just as he began looking for an escape the sniper was called back to the conversation- he really had hoped he had been forgotten.

"Sebby, why don't you go pick us up some lunch?" As he nearly ran to the door a different voice stopped him.

"Moran!" Turning he instinctively caught the object aimed at his head.

"My spare keys, and take your time." With a nod the mercenary fled. He had seen much in his life, but seeing Jim Moriarty being all lovey-dovey was just wrong in his book.

As the door shut behind the tall blonde sniper John turned a grin on his brunette psychopath.

"I think you scare him more this way than if you were yelling."

"Hmm, you think? Maybe we should do this more often then. Let everyone know that you're MINE!"

"Only if that goes both ways Jim!" As they locked stares Jim began pushing John towards the sofa.

"I really liked your ideas about streamlining, and everything else you said as well. You are very sexy when you're making evil schemes Dr. Watson." Pushing John down to lay on the cushions, Jim began to remove their trousers.

"You had your fun last night, but now it's Daddy's turn!" Slamming their mouths together Jim prepared to show John just how much he enjoyed John taking part in his work.

As his mouth was ravaged, John just hoped that Moran would take a while.

_AN: I'm sorry to all those who wanted a three-way with Jim, John and Sebastian; but I just couldn't make it happen in this story. _

_But fear not! I have plans write such a fic in the future!_

_But I need to take a vote now: Who wants Sebastian to date Sherlock? _

_Please tell me if that is something you would like to see. If not, then tell me anyway. Just please tell me how I'm doing so far! I thrive on reviews, plus they make me update quicker._


	8. Chapter 8

_AN: And Seblock wins by a landslide! I had not one single no, a whole slew of Yeses and one maybe. So Seblock it is! Yeah!_

**Disclaimer: If I wish really hard on a star... they still won't be mine and I'll look like a complete dweeb. **

**Oh! and nothing related to Sir Terry Pratchett or the Discworld is mine either.**

It had been three weeks since John had last seen Jim, if he hadn't been getting near constant texts from the man he would have been worried.

They texted through out the day and talked every night. They were finally getting to know one another outside of sex, and it was nice.

As it was he know knew more about what Jim was doing than probably Moran did- and the sniper was traveling with him!

Jim had taken John's advice to heart and was moving about the globe, cleaning up his business and texting John more and more lude and erotic pictures everyday that they were apart.

John was finding it all rather frustrating, if you know what he means, and Sherlock wasn't making it any easier on him.

The git had taken to walking about their flat naked and openly propositioning the doctor. If John didn't find it all so funny he would have been offended that Sherlock thought he could be swayed so easily.

The funniest part was when Mrs. Hudson had walked in on a naked Sherlock and then scolded him for being too easy, that had been the best.

Second place had been where Lestrade had staged a 'drugs bust', and Sally couldn't stop staring- or Anderson for that matter- though it looked like Greg was about to have a stroke.

But now things were taking a serious turn. As he poured out his tea, John thought darkly on letting Jim sink his claws into Sherlock for a few days- or even doing the work himself!

Aphrodisiacs drugging his food at random intervals he could deal with and take in his stride- it was no worse than when the man had tried to give him food poisoning for an experiment- but you don't mess with a man's tea!

Taking a deep, calming breath, John counseled himself to patients. He didn't need to start thinking like that- no matter how hot Jim thought it was when he showed his dark side.

Relaxing slightly with a smile, John let his mind wander back to that last afternoon in his penthouse.

_"Johnny, do you have any idea what you do to me when you start talking all dark and evil like?" Jim moaned as he pushed deeper into John._

_"I don't know what you're talking about Jimmy." John gasped out as he canted his hips to let his lover sink in even further._

_ Grabbing a fistful of dark hair John smashed their lips together. The sofa probably wasn't the best place for rough sex, but he wasn't about to stop and suggest a change of scenery._

_"The way you so easily were able to come up with ideas on how to make my evil empire secure." The brunette stuttered out as he started thrusting with abandon._

_"That wasn't anything dark or evil, that was just good business sense." The blonde panted out._

_Damn it! Why did Jim have to have this conversation now?!_

_"Oh but Johnny-" Grabbing another handful of hair and slamming their mouths together once more, John rolled them off the sofa and onto the floor._

_As Jim tried to regain the breath that had been knocked from him, John pinned him down and started rocking his hips._

_"You're a bad influence my Evil Emperor." As strong hands grabbed his hips he looked down into deep brown eyes._

_"You have no idea how bad an influence I can be Johnny." Jim purred as he started snapping his hips up and to make John moan. He had obviously liked his new nickname._

_As their breathing became more ragged they both gave up on talking._

_Bringing his hand up to fist himself in time with Jim's thrusts, John felt himself getting close. _

_"Jim! Buggering Fuck!" As John came all over Jim's chest he clenched around the still thrusting cock inside him._

_"Johnny! Just a bit more! Yes! Almost there!" As he came deep inside John Jim began to laugh. With a scowl John pulled off the criminal consultant and lay across him, not minding the warm stickiness for the moment._

_"And just what is so funny Mr. Evil Emperor?" _

_"Us, my Evil Empire Consort." As Jim laughed harder he pulled John closer, and the doctor began to chuckle as well._

_"I guess. But you have to admit it's fun." Giving his psychotic boyfriend a deep kiss he pulled off, helped Jim to his feet and led the way to the downstairs shower. They needed to get cleaned up before Sebastian got back with lunch._

Coming back to the here and now John began making another cup of tea- carefully checking for tampering this time around- and wondered just how he could get Sherlock off his case.

The best solution would be to find him a lover of his own- someone other than John- and hope that they would be interesting enough to keep Sherlock's interest and patient enough to put up with the crazed detective.

Sipping his tea he looked over at the- once again completely naked- brunette who was lost in his own mind and sitting in his chair.

Going over everyone he could think of he started to contemplate signing the man up on a dating site just for the hell of it- it would be a laugh at least.

Still thinking over about who he might set Sherlock up with- he even contemplated bringing Irene Adler back just for the occasion- he pulled out his phone and looked at the new text message their.

**Back in London tonight. JM**

**Are you free to be my date to one of those charity dinner things? JM**

A wild idea sprang to mind and John smirked in an evil way that would have caused Jim to jump him right then and there.

**Sure! I'd love to go. JW**

**But I'll need a babysitter for Sherlock. JW**

This would be so good. The two men had almost nothing in common!

It was going to be either love or hate at first sight, but it would definitely get Sherlock off his back.

**Can I borrow Sebastian? JW**

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

Coming out of his mind palace- he had just finished cataloging John's reactions to his newest attempts at securing his affections- he turned towards his blogger and froze.

His mind sped through his deductions.

Tall- over two meters when standing.

Blonde- though not the same blonde as John, but then no-one was.

Ex-military sniper- full colonel at least.

Sitting in John's chair- and had been for a couple of hours.

Reading... Terry Pratchett? Making Money? What the bloody hell was a Discworld?

Drinking beer- brought it himself as John never drank at home.

Had killed a man in the last twelve to protect his employer.

Completely aware of being observed and deduced, and yet was relaxed about it. He had only ever found that level of relaxation at his scrutiny in John.

"Name's Sebastian Moran, Dr. Watson is at a dinner thing with the Boss, and whatever it is you're about to say- don't. I'm almost at the trial and I love the scene with the dog." Saying this without ever removing his eyes from the book, Moran turned a page and continued reading.

Sherlock hated being ignored.

Stalking over to the seated sniper, Sherlock plucked the book from calloused hands.

His middle fingers said that he enjoyed working with all types of guns- though he favored heavy caliber sniper rifles.

His thumbs spoke of playing the piano and baking.

And his palms said he could kill bare handed- and had- but prefered to use a gun or knife to make his kills.

"It's rude to take something that's not yours you know." Ignoring the sniper's words, Sherlock started his questioning.

"You work for That Man, so why are you here?" Realizing he was still very much naked when Moran began licking his lips in an unconscious way, the genius detective grabbed the blanket off the back of the sofa and draped it about himself like a toga.

"Well?" He prompted once he was decent- decency, boring!

"I'm here to babysit you and make sure you don't ruin their date. Now give me back my book." Realizing he still held the thing he turned his skills on it, only this time out loud.

"Old copy- five, six years. Falling apart but still cared for- sentiment, it is the copy you first enjoyed reading. You use a bookmark instead of bending the pages over so as not to damage it more. A childish story-"

"Oi! Terry Pratchett ain't no childs writer!" Moran had had enough! You could beat his face to a bloody pulp or criticize him all you want, but you don't mess with his choice in literature!

Giving the brunette a glare that had sent lesser men running, Moran gave him one chance to redeem himself.

"You ever read any Terry Pratchett?" The disdainful sneer he received was enough and he was already in motion by the time a reply was forming.

"Hardly, I-" The next thing Sherlock knew he was on the floor with a pair of handcuffs around his wrists.

Who keeps random handcuffs on them? Well, besides himself that is. And this Moran fellow too it would seem.

And how did the large man just get the drop on him? No-one could get the drop on him- except for John of course- he was bloody Sherlock Holmes!

Testing the cuffs for weakness, and not finding any, he had to admit that he was- grudgingly- impressed. Moran seemed to be competent.

"Now!" Moran lifted Sherlock onto the sofa and positioned him so he would be able to see Moran sitting in John's chair, he then picked his book off the floor where it had fallen during the one-sided struggle.

"Let's get you acquainted with the Discworld." Sitting down and taking a drink of his beer, Moran opened Making Money to the first chapter and began reading aloud.

"Chapter one. They lay in the dark, guarding..."

Sherlock watched- and begrudgingly listened- as Moran read to him like a child at bedtime.

Damn it! He was a fully grown man! He didn't need a babysitter!

When John got back he was going to throw the biggest temper tantrum!

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

"So... are you ever going to tell me why you wanted Sebby to spend his night with Sherly?" Jim questioned while looking for a quiet spot he could whisk John off to for a quickie, it had been a remarkably dull event so far and he was itching to touch skin.

With a far off look, a hand running across Jim's thigh and a small smile John finally answered.

"Wouldn't they make a great couple?" Jim nearly chokes on his gin and tonic at this.

"Couple?! Seb and Sherl?" Dabbing at Jim's spilled drink with his napkin, John just hums contentedly.

"Jooohhhnn! Why would you set my best man up with your best friend? That's insane!" Giving in to the urge to laugh, John turns to look at his lover.

"They are perfect for each other and you know it." Huffing, Jim just glares. So John continues.

"If you like we can make a bet on it." Intrigued now, Jim leans closer to John.

"What did you have in mind?"

Upon entering 221b John gave a delighted giggle and Jim paled.

A very naked Sherlock was curled up in Sebastian's- a still clothed Sebastian, Jim noted with relief- lap.

Sebastian appeared to be reading one of his little books to the man, they appeared to have arrived at the very end of the book.

"Well, a happy house was worth a seat, especially in view of what had happened when they tried to take the damn thing away..."

"You were right, the dog in the courtroom was interesting. Though I still don't see how it could have wound the vibrator up on its own." Turning to look at the two men in the doorway, Sherlock snuggled in closer to the broad chest of the sniper.

Shaking his head slightly- he would never have pegged Sherlock as a snuggler- Jim went to speak, but nothing came out.

"I'm sure John is just itching to collect on whatever bet you two made as he obviously won. Now go away, Sebastian was going to show me how to make military grade explosives out of the cleaning supplies." Grabbing Jim by the arm, John pulled the man out of the sitting room and up to his own bedroom.

Jim went with a slight reluctance. It wasn't that he was upset to lose to John- John was the only man on the planet Jim didn't mind losing too after all- it was that he now had the image of a naked Sherlock curled up in his number one man's lap burned into his corneas.

That would take time to leave him- if it ever did.

"We've never christened my bed since we've been together, and since I won I think we should." Crossing his arms and refusing to give any help what-so-ever, Jim glared at the bed as if it had personally insulted him.

"Fine! but I won't be happy about it!" Wrapping his arms around his lover John just nodded.

He was too happy right now that Sherlock liked Sebastian- and not just because he had won the bet and was going to top tonight- this would mean that he would no longer be subjected to all those painfully awkward seduction attempts. Now someone else could deal with those!

Quickly stripping Jim down to nothing, John made quick work of tightening the leather cuffs he had attached to his bed earlier around Jim's' wrists.

Looking into lust blown dark eyes, John smiled. Tonight was going to be fun!

JMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJWJMJW

"Mr. Holmes."

"M." Giving a nod to the head of MI6, Mycroft took a seat. He just couldn't believe that it had taken them this long to realize that he wasn't going to stop pressing on this issue.

"To what do I owe this visit? You will forgive me when I say that I doubt that this is a social call." Blasted social niceties, sometimes he really saw the benefits of Sherlock's blunt manner.

"Not a social call I'm afraid. I'm here to inquire about John Watson."

)

_AN: Hey there! I just need to do another quick poll, okay?_

_I have three different ways that this story can go from here, but I need you all to chose what you will want to read most:_

_Option one: Due to Mycroft's meddling John is recalled to active service as double O two and is sent on a mission far away from England, Sherlock and- most importantly- Jim._

_Option two: John's service history is fully revealed and Jim must comfort him in his own special way._

_Option three: John is actually still an active double O, and had been originally sent in to asses Sherlock as a potential security hazard while his shoulder healed. He has remained at 221b as a covert security force since it was deemed that Sherlock was Mycroft's biggest weakness and has been sending regular reports in to MI6 about everything- including his relationship with Jim._

_Please tell me what you think! I need input so I can continue to entertain you!_


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